I am having mixed feelings about this

A part of me tells me not to let go, but the other is telling me to give up. Have I changed unknowingly? I really dont know. Perharps its really hard to care for a person without him feeling controlled or giving the right amount of 'trust' that he deserve. This is unreasonable and I'll have to compromise. And being independent or understanding seems like convenient words to use nowadays. Having dinner just once a week seems like such a tough thing to ask for, cos I'm competing with people that you get see to everyday. And it seems like I have to beg or kick up a fuss for you to stay. So I'm not doing that anymore, cos there isnt a need to. Why must I always be the bad guy? Why am I doing this? I dont know. We dont go out during weekends and going on dates seems difficult. I'm getting really bored. Getting used to something is really bad. Something is starting to bother me lately, I'm losing something that I'm really afraid of losing. Something that I thought was there a few months ago. Havent seen each other for an entire week seems like nothing now. What happen to the feeling of missing someone? It seems like its totally gone from my mind now. Perharps time can really do wonders, it can let you forget about someone easily. It is only late in the night when you're alone, few hours before your special day that you suddenly remembered him. You know that its impossible to see him right away, but a tiny little part of you is still hoping for that to happen. We have polar opposite characters and there is nothing we can do about it. It is suppose to complement us isnt it? We've been through this question several times "are you the right person for me?" I am having mixed feelings about this. I really dont know. So what is the answer for your limit of tolerance? The answer to me is infinite cos you're good at running away for things. And the limit of my tolerance? It has definitely gone up by several thousand folds and I'm still learning to keep in under control. I am having a love-hate relationship. Happy 23rd Birthday to me!

Island getaway Bintan 18-20 Jan 2011 (Part 2)

Day 2: Day out at the swimming pool, beach and Balinese massage.

Day 3: Breakfast, beach and finally home sweet home.

Island getaway Bintan 18-20 Jan 2011 (Part1)

1st overseas trip with dear was pretty enjoyable and relaxing, totally recharged now and all ready for the hectic semester ahead. Good weather, peaceful and quiet island (we almost had the whole swimming pool and beach to ourselves since it is the off peak and monsoon season -> no sea sports) with excellent and very friendly service stuff. Dear was rather paranoid about the fact that there are hardly any people in the resort, mostly foreigeners from Japan, Korea and some old caucasian couples. But I actually kind of appreciate the privacy, quietness and slow pace life though as I am not exactly a huge fan of crowds, just slacking and lazing around not doing much and completely lost track of time. Major urban detox!!

Day 1: Explore Nirwana resort (Nirwana resort centre, Beach club, Kelong), played bowling and air rifle, visited Pasar Oleh Oleh in the evening.

Hello 2011! Randomly browsed through some of the old photos posted on facebook and kassyn's blog, some of which I have never seen before. Among them my favourites have to be the pictures took in Macau (1st overseas trip together), Taiwan and the 21st birthdays. Laughed dumbly to myself when I saw some of these cute pictures and captions, definitely brought back fond memories of the funny events that happened. I have a poor memory and photos are the best reminders of events of my life. Picked out some of my favourite shots, check them out!


Macau

First impromptu overseas trip together with besties to Macau, HK and borders of China (Zhuhai) with a very packed itinery. Bad experience on abroad Tiger airways (almost burnt my ass, as me and nic was suspected to be siting near the engine). Freaking cold weather especially during the night when we were "counting down" near the fisherman wharf with the huge golden lady stature, most "happening" place in Macau indeed and in the end we welcomed 2009 with the Taiwanese instead. Getting around Macau wasn't easy as all the streets are named Rua de xxx, but the city map was really useful can block the chilly wind somemore, just that following its directions caused us to walk non-stop for hours till we reach a hospital. Some of the all time classic places that we visited includes Venetian, Red market and San deng jie in search for the lost mysterious Agnes B shop. They have a fantastic airport except the food served their had some extra special ingredient that tasted and smell like ammonia. Ageing is clearly seen in the Macau population especially in the morning at their cafes.

Shopping at Zhuhai was fun, everything is affordable and there is a wide range of stuff available there, also got "shui huo". Tried their highly recommended ma la steamboat and ended up really disgusted by the meatballs, the the scraping of the dried chilli stuck to the pot and the amount of chilli oil in it, totally horrific experience. Lesson learnt: Don't ever tried the local's tastebuds.

Hong Kong was fun, with lots of shopping outlets at tung chung, lady's street and my favourite xu liu shan with yummy mango desserts. Getting around HK is easy with the MTR.

Taiwan

We somehow got addicted to travelling and went on our 2nd trip to Taipei half a year later. Visiting places like Ximending, Shilin nightmarket (lots of bubble tea, Aiyu and jipa), fisherman wharf (Yu ren ma tou) where they had total defence practise where everyone had to stay indoors and the place where I got my wierd tan lines, Jiu fen, taipei 101 (aka beijing 101.. lol), memorial hall where we suddenly started singing theresa tang songs.

Its been a while since we all travelled together. Guys, time for some Kimchi and K-pop music.. Lets go ....But before that off to Bintan for 3 days 2 night (18-20 Jan) with CL before school reopen, final semester in NTU.. Yippy!! Please god bless us with good weather.

Post Shanghai blues.. Part 1(Work)

Its been exactly a month since I've returned from Shanghai (12 July 2010) and now I'm actually beginning to miss China having spent 7 whole months there travelling, studying and working. The experience is indeed priceless and memorable for me, adding something special to my bland university life, having only joined Insinyur and being CCAless for the past 3 years in NTU. I would love to say that I have unknowingly changed and that I'm beginning to understand myself better. I can actually be very independent, confident and brave, and a strong side of me that I have been hidden inside me for the past 22years. But I have also discovered another side of me, the weak and emotional side, which in some way freak myself out.Recalling the 1st few weeks in Shanghai where everything seems so foreign and scary, having to brave through the freaking cold weather (-2 deg cel), huge crowd of rowdy people and trying to navigate our way using road signs written in Chinese. (At work)

My company being strategically located at one of the busiest business distrinct at Golden Bell Plaza ( 大世界，黄埔区)in Shanghai, made my journey to work a tough but fun one, having to squeeze and battle the morning office crowd. Every morning there will be drama on the metro, with people quarrelling, faces being squash ( v funny expression on their faces, as though they are in pain), people being "kiap" by the door and those that still push their way into the train despite it being filled to the brim (China people can be compressed), sometimes its so full that even when the train brakes suddenly you wont even jerk or fall to one side,without even holding on to anything in the first place (defying inertia). Taking a bus 581 to work can be an enjoyable experience also as I can enjoy the nice scenery from the Nanpu bridge, while listening to the songs from my ipod. Whenever I get caught in a traffic jam, I'll have my own personal time when I'll start thinking about alot of stuff, my family, my friends and everything nice in Singapore.

I was given lots of opportunities by my boss as compared to the other local interns in AL. Being able to learn and work with other regional Marcom personnel, participate in global events like the World Expo (Swedish Pavilion) and being involved in the planning of the annual National Meeting for AL was indeed an eye opening experience for me. I have learnt technical stuff like web designing, maintenance, use of other communication and marketing tools, practised public speaking and presentation skills and other important soft skills like teamwork, responsibility etc.

The only disappointed and sad moment that I had in AL was the time when my boss broke to me the news that I had to be stationed in the office alone to provide assistance and oversee other matters, and the excuse given by my boss was that AL had better internet connection which is needed for the duty I was assigned to which is the mass sending of SMS to remind our clients regarding their registered seminar schedule. Felt really devastated and down for the next few days, as I have put in lots of effort and hardwork for this project, since the beginning of this project (attended web training session via video conference during the chinese new year holiday, with only me and Apple left alone in the whole company), followed by me pieceing the whole webcampaign site together, updating it daily with the latest information, to the final lap which ended with long working hours and OT for several nights. I could still recall the times when me and my colleagues admire the breath taking night view with all the buildings lighted up by the colourful LED neon lights, overseeing Shanghai Times Square, Infinite mall, Shanghai concert hall etc. from our desks. Really miss having lunch with my colleagues trying out all the different cuisine in Shanghai, strolling and htht sessions at parks after lunch and shopping at the baazar (level 6 of shanghai times square) having different sales ranging from clothes to imported food items etc.

Really glad and fortunate to have JK and Kas as my housemates, hearing me pour my sorrows and encouraging me during my sad times. My happiest moment in AL was definitely the last day of our event(30 June), where my boss gave me an expo day pass to visit the VIP section of the Swedish pavilion where all our seminars and products are exhibited and even enjoy the Happy hour session at the glass rooftop terrace at night.