I am having mixed feelings about this

A part of me tells me not to let go, but the other is telling me to give up. Have I changed unknowingly? I really dont know. Perharps its really hard to care for a person without him feeling controlled or giving the right amount of 'trust' that he deserve. This is unreasonable and I'll have to compromise. And being independent or understanding seems like convenient words to use nowadays. Having dinner just once a week seems like such a tough thing to ask for, cos I'm competing with people that you get see to everyday. And it seems like I have to beg or kick up a fuss for you to stay. So I'm not doing that anymore, cos there isnt a need to. Why must I always be the bad guy? Why am I doing this? I dont know. We dont go out during weekends and going on dates seems difficult. I'm getting really bored. Getting used to something is really bad. Something is starting to bother me lately, I'm losing something that I'm really afraid of losing. Something that I thought was there a few months ago. Havent seen each other for an entire week seems like nothing now. What happen to the feeling of missing someone? It seems like its totally gone from my mind now. Perharps time can really do wonders, it can let you forget about someone easily. It is only late in the night when you're alone, few hours before your special day that you suddenly remembered him. You know that its impossible to see him right away, but a tiny little part of you is still hoping for that to happen. We have polar opposite characters and there is nothing we can do about it. It is suppose to complement us isnt it? We've been through this question several times "are you the right person for me?" I am having mixed feelings about this. I really dont know. So what is the answer for your limit of tolerance? The answer to me is infinite cos you're good at running away for things. And the limit of my tolerance? It has definitely gone up by several thousand folds and I'm still learning to keep in under control. I am having a love-hate relationship. Happy 23rd Birthday to me!