Goodbye granny

I officially declare Nov 09 the worse period of my life. Not only was November a stressful month filled with consecutive quizzes and exams, it was also the period where my granny was hospitalised. Grams was a independent and strong woman, who raised my mum almost single-handedly as my grandpa was away most of the time working on big ships. She was always the first person to welcome me home everyday, sitting at her fave spot by the bedside asking me how was my day and even in the wee hours at night she would never fail to pop by my study room rushing me to sleep earlier. Grams stayed with us ever since I was borned, practically spent all of my time with her as a kid, probably even more then my parents as both of them are working. When I was kid, I would throw my toys, stop whatever I was doing and run at full speed to hug grams whenever I hear thunder. My supposedly first overseas trip to HK was ruined cos I could not bear to go anywhere without Grams by my side, in the end, Dad, mum and da jie went without me. Grams was the one to prepare our daily meals and do the household chores.

Grams had always lead a healthy lifestyle, eating only boiled or steam food. Despite her age, she did not had any long term chronic disease like high blood pressure, diabetes etc. But one day, she fell down and landed on her butt, fortunately she did not fracture any bones. Instead, somehow the doctor diagnose her with urinary tract infection, she could no longer control her bladder and had to put on diapers. She stayed at Changi Hospital for a week, her appetite was poor and her mood was bad. Eventually she could no longer eat any food and had to be put on drip, the doctors gave her anti-depressant thinking that she might be suffering from depression. She felt that she could not communicate with the doctors as nobody could understand her dialect.

Tragedy strikes when she started having fits and had to be sent immediately to Tan Tock Seng hospital. They found the main vein connecting the brain to the rest of the body being clot up, blood thinning medication was fed to her hoping that it might help remove the clot. But instead it caused more complications as her blood became too thin resulting in internal bleeding at the brain. She had a stroke and was paralysed on the right side of her body, her arms was badly bruised with all blood test done on her. Everyone in the family went down to visit grams at the ICU, everyone cried as the doctor was afraid that she might not pull through. We were suppose to decide whether if we wanted the doctor to operate on her to remove the blood clot, which include removing a portion of her brain where the blood clot was pressing on. We opted against it as it was a very dangerous operation for an old lady to bear, and changes of recovery was minimal.

Things somewhat changed for the better when the doctor said that her condition has stabilised and could be discharged soon. Went to visit her on the 5th Dec the day right after my last paper bought all the necessary stuff in preparation of her return on the 7th Dec. Her condition was no good, they had to increase her oxygen concentration to the max as she could not breathe on her own and was gasping for air. We stayed by her side and only returned home to take a shower at around 11.30pm. The next moment the doctor called and informed us that grams had already passed away at 12.52am. She hanged on and waited for all her nephews and my family to visit her for the final time that day in the evening before passing away peacefully. Everyone rushed down to see her for the last time, I held her hand it was icy cold.

Her case was rather complex as the doctors was uncertain of her cause of death thinking that it has something to do with the blood thinning medicine overdose. Thus, we could not claim her body that night and can only do so the next morning at HSA at Singapore General Hospital. Grams death certificate bears my signature as I was the one who tell the police what exactly happened to her from what I know. I could not stop crying when I had to identify my grams body when they pushed her out from the mortuary. In the end they concluded her death cause to be stroke. The funeral lasted for 3 days. On the last night before cremation the following morning, after sending off my friends off at around 4am, I went to sleep on the straw mat beside grams coffin. That was the last time I had her by my side.

I did not know I was such an emotional person and that losing someone so close to your heart could be that painful. Flashes of memory kept flashing through my mind these days, think it will take quite a while for all these to fade away. Grams should be at a place where there is no pain or sufferings, a place where she can watch over us and be with grandpa. Special thanks to those that came down to pay their respect, really appreciated it thanks for being there for me when I needed someone by my side.